Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Backwards
9:55 AM

Something just hit me. There's no motivational drive in my life. I am living it off day by day. That's why I suck compared to others. No point consoling myself with the viewpoint that I shouldnt compare. Time to wake up.
Having regrets now. Realised I should have planned more before doing. Be more meticulous. I was too careless. As usual. Since like Primary One. Only thing that solves it is practice. Screwed.
Everyday just dont feel real. I feel as if I dont exist. One of my teacher was right; she actually seen through me like i'm a transparent sheet. That is, everything's a facade. I'm too superficial. But that's changing, ever since she told me, so i guess i putting effort to pull down that facade that i had put up.
I am tired. But I dont even know what's causing me to be that tired. Either there's too much thing on my mind or i am taking exhuastion as an excuse. I think is the latter.
Could have done it. It would have taken it off my mind. I couldn't believe it at first; i didnt want to accept it because i am fearful of the outcome, the results and the consequences thereafter. I am guilty. I seeks perfection and yet i dont do anything about it. What's wrong with me.
Happy belated birthday Sarah.
Thursday, February 04, 2010
pissed
9:11 PM
Seriously, what makes you think you are better? Because you performed better in that stupid piece of paper? Means you can challenge other people level of intelligence? Wake up, who is the dumb one that CHOSE to take, what, 2hours to school? So what I get F9. I think I still got that level of intellect to understand such simple words. After all, I attended 4 years of those classes. And I dont regret it. So you can keep sending those msgs in that language i seriously dont mind. Bt just you know, I will understand without even picking up that dictionary. Try harder next time. Oh yea, I am already on the verge of spouting those words at you already. Keep it up.
Monday, February 01, 2010
Hachi
1:52 AM

Seriously, I want to watch this movie this week I dont care if there's anything else haha.
Last 3 days was pretty awesome. I wonder will it continue.
Tort's over.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Despair
5:16 AM

Familiarity, then warmth, which leads to the feeling that we are actually connected.
Uneasiness, then fear, which leads to the feeling that we are breaking apart.
How such foolish emotions lead the lives we have.
There's always those unexpected little things that you might do. Little they may seems but it's pretty huge to me. You wont probably know or understand that so i wont bother to say.
Opportunities. Chances. Probabilities. Their percentage was finally that near to perfection. And yet that mere, slight chance of it not happening actually happens. Everything just wont go as planned, will it?
Remorse. Regret. Realization. I hate it when it finally realize it's not going to be there anymore.
Foolish foolish human.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Opponent
3:38 AM
"Love is indeed a formidable opponent." - Kira-kun
Just when you finally put all your determination on one thing, that one smile, no wait couple of smiles is totally enough to show how your determination sucks. And then when it leads to the scenario where you see how something precious from you get washed away by the waves, you will understand how that determination not to feel disappointment and despair is like an ant compared to the world. Jeez, I promise I wont try to fight fate anymore. And yes, i dont believe in chances anymore.
2weeks more. I cant wait to see how weak i am.
crap, exams are coming. And i havent finish my part of econs presentation this thursday. Ah and tort, which is proving to be so painful when you have your notes beside you when u try to sleep. And then psychology, god i dont even want to see what the exam papers are like. Sheesh hate this part of the semester, but then again, it means holidays are coming!
LPB told us a story today. Eh, you dont have her telling stories all the time k. It's about this guy, well he was born female, then when to have a sex change and had his IC changed to male. He fell in love with a girl, got married and voila, his wife realised he's not male! Then wife went to court trying to make the marriage void, but well, that "guy" didnt want to. In the end the court ruled the marriage void bcos they should look at the birth cert for the gender, not the IC. Here's the climax.
LPB : Sad right, dont you all thing is sad?
My Tort group: -silence-
LPB : Well, here's the saddest part. A year later, the Parliament came up with a bill to
amend the Woman's Charter and it was passed. The amendment? Marriages
are not deemed void when a male marries a female. To establish the gender,
the amendment said that it's to look at the IC, not the bert cert.
My Tort group : -laughs-
my god. It sounds like "what is the Parliament thinking?! Why did they even pass the bill?" but then LPB explain to us about the IC and how if it was not passed, it would mean that the IC is redundant. The reason she told us this story is because i went to ask her about how Parliament can make laws to overrule the laws interpreted in the courts. Well, that question came about when she was talking about her time at NUS Law Forum or smth. *i scared defamation i wont say the story haha*. Today's so fun cos u get to see LPB mood switches from pissed to delirious.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Bridges
4:34 AM
I couldnt believe my ears. No, that's not it, i am just choosing not to believe it. You had just destroyed the only thing that can possibly link us together. You dont know what happened then; I blanked out for a moment, and I couldnt think or gather my thoughts. I dont know what to do or what to say already. Perhaps, it's time to stop gazing at the stars.
Should i switch to tumblr? o.O
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Anymore
6:12 AM
dont give milk to the kitten when you know you gonna take it away.
dont erase the rainbow when you know there's no rain.
dont make me soar so high and bring me so low in the end.
I tried and I realised something. Not everything you want is that easily obtained. Even if it's on that path you chose to take, it might never be there cos you wont see it. It's just too hard playing with fate with your own bare hands.
today, is my unlucky day or what. Or should I just say it was a all-transports-hate-me-day. Morning, the traffic light outside my house managed to make me almost late for school just because I decided not to jay-walk. Evening, i actually took a wrong bus and spent my last cents on that wrong trip. Got stranded somewhere in Tampines and had to walk back home from there. Took me 45 mins and I barely made it back alive; a car almost hit me, I almost got lost in the HDB blocks, bikes dashing past me and steps that made me trip. I swear it felt so surreal when I reached home.
and hello.