
Something just hit me. There's no motivational drive in my life. I am living it off day by day. That's why I suck compared to others. No point consoling myself with the viewpoint that I shouldnt compare. Time to wake up.
Having regrets now. Realised I should have planned more before doing. Be more meticulous. I was too careless. As usual. Since like Primary One. Only thing that solves it is practice. Screwed.
Everyday just dont feel real. I feel as if I dont exist. One of my teacher was right; she actually seen through me like i'm a transparent sheet. That is, everything's a facade. I'm too superficial. But that's changing, ever since she told me, so i guess i putting effort to pull down that facade that i had put up.
I am tired. But I dont even know what's causing me to be that tired. Either there's too much thing on my mind or i am taking exhuastion as an excuse. I think is the latter.
Could have done it. It would have taken it off my mind. I couldn't believe it at first; i didnt want to accept it because i am fearful of the outcome, the results and the consequences thereafter. I am guilty. I seeks perfection and yet i dont do anything about it. What's wrong with me.
Happy belated birthday Sarah.